An Alternate DBZ Christmas
by MistyxKisame
Summary: Like the title says, its an Alternate DBZ Christmas with lots of romance, wise-cracking old men, drama, thrills, chills, and humor. Depending on reviews, there might be yaoi and yuri included with lots of rated M material. Pairing suggestions welcome. Based somewhere during Android saga.


Sorry I haven't updated in a while! My computer crashed and deleted most of my stories I had been working on or parts of it. So to make up for it, I'm doing a holiday special!

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It was a beautiful sunny, yet snowy day in the land of DBZ and Christmas was in the air. Chichi was busy buying Christmas stuff and Goku, Gohan, and Raditz were in charge of the house not being destroyed by the time she arrived, which was hard to do because Takamori, Takashi, Akira, Kai, and Pan were running around.

"Kai stop it!" Gohan tried to get his little 1 year old sister off of his leg while he was decorating the Christmas tree.

"I want cookies!" Kai whined.

"No cookies!" Pan giggled as Takamori and she flung cookie crumbs into the air.

"WAAAAAH!" Kai started to throw a tantrum.

Raditz sighed and picked up his daughter. "Stop crying, Kitty cat."

"Meow!" Kai said cheerfully. Kitty cat was her nickname because her first word was "meow".

"We'll bake some later, ok?" Raditz nuzzled his daughter's cheek with affection. "I love you my little kitty!"

"I love you too mommy!" Kai kissed her mother and ran into her room she and Pan shared to do lord knows what.

"STOP DRAWING ON THE WALL!" Akira dropped his crayons and ran like crazy while giggling evilly. Raditz sighed and went back to wrapping presents. Chichi would at least be happy that the house wasn't in flames.

"MORE!" Takashi was pulling on his father's pants to let him know that he wanted more juice.

"No more juice!" Goku was drinking it.

"MOMMY! DADDY SAID NO MORE JUICE AND HE WAS DRINKING IT!" Takashi screamed running into the room.

"DON'T TELL HER THAT!" yelled Goku tackling his son.

"GET OFF OF HIM, YOU MORON!" Raditz threw a book at Goku, making him make go fast.

"I'm baaaack!" Chichi skipped into the room. She looked around the room. Crayon drawings were on the wall, Kai was running around in her cat pajamas scratching at the wall and curtains with her hands, Takamori and Pan were rolling around in crumbles, Takashi was slapping Goku, Raditz was chasing after a naked Akira who was swinging his diaper around like a lasso, and Gohan was tangled in the Christmas lights. "Home sweet home…"

"AUNTIE!" All of the kids ran out and hugged Chichi. "WHAT DID YOU BUY ME?!"

"Hey mom!" Gohan had just untangled out of the lights. "Sorry about the mess…"

"That's okay Gohan!" Chichi was unbelievably cheerful. She had her family all together…that and she finally had a plan to get Goku to have "sexytime" with her.

"Are we still going to Bulma's party later?" asked Goku after Gohan had finally pulled Takashi off of his back.

"Yes we are. I can't wait for the kids to open their presents tomorrow morning!" Chichi had gotten her kids everything they wanted without any hesitation.

"Santa Claus!" Pan came out of nowhere with a painting of the Jolly Old Man himself.

'They're talkative for a bunch of 1 year olds.' Chichi looked at the painting.

"Why do you and Kakarrot keep telling my kids about some stupid old fat old burgular who creeps into your house just to leave stuff?" Raditz shook his head. "If I see that mother fucker, I'm grabbing all of his shit."

"Trust me…I've tried that…" said Goku.

"Well you didn't try hard enough." Raditz went into the kitchen.

*Meanwhile at the Briefs House*

"VEGETA!" Vegeta rolled his eyes and went downstairs to the kitchen where Bulma was. "VEEEEGEEEETAAAA!"

"WHAT WOMAN?!" Vegeta got into her face.

"I need your opinion on this dress." Bulma was wearing a short Mrs. Claus dress complete with a santa hat and boots.

"You act like I even care!" Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"You'll care if I don't fix your Gravity Room!"

"…" Vegeta thought for a second. "Your dress makes my dick hurt."

"Thanks!" Bulma smiled and then looked unsure. "…I think…"

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That's the end of chapter 1! BTW, I was thinking of making an uncensored version of the ADBZ series, but I don't think anyone would read it. Depending on reviews, this story may be rated M later down the road. Maybe some yaoi mixed in a dash of yuri? Possibly… Let me know in your reviews.


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